i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
