sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
