Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
