With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Actions speak louder than pants.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
