i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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