Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize