That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
