a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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