I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
