is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
