sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
