What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
