I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
