I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I will pee on everything he values.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
