Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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