So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
