How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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