ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
