my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
