This is not my ceiling
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
