It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
