I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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