my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
