I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
