does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
