awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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