didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
