just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
