what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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