tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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