I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
