A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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