Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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