Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
