I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
