im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
