were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
