She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
