is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
