he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize