He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
