You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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