I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
