Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
