apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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