I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i think my mom watched the whole time
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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