My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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