You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
