We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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