i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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