Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
The uberlube is also flammable
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
