Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Randomize
