Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
