Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
