Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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