forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize