Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
