Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
