he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
