Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I still have a little drunk in my system
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
