Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
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