i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize